Propes Family Adventures

Many people have requested an update, and there are many reasons that I have been delayed in posting one (jet lag, catching up on missed time with Dawson and Abigail, oh, yeah, and transitioning our 4 year old son into our family).  To say the least things have been a little crazy, and I haven’t even had time to think about getting on the computer.  To be honest, however, another reason, the main reason, that I haven’t posted an update is I really didn’t know what to say. 

The past two weeks have been some of the most difficult weeks of my life.  Thankfully, Kevin and I expected it to be difficult.  However, as much as one can read about the difficulties of transitioning and attaching, nothing can really prepare you until you face it.  I have been blessed to face this challenge with my best friend!  Kevin and I have grown more and more in love with each other through this adoption journey.

Rahul has blown us away with how well and quickly he has attached to our family.  When we left India, Rahul would primarily only allow me to touch and BRIEFLY hold him (this usually resulted in crying).  He wouldn’t even sit next to Kevin.  Now, while he is still a “Momma’s Boy”, Rahul loves his daddy.  He gives him hugs and loves to be “gotten” by daddy, which usually involves tickles and lots of hysterical laughter.  Dawson is his hero, and he and Abigail love to play together…most days that is!  🙂 

When we picked up Rahul, he was probably at about a 2 year old emotional/social developmental level.  It’s been difficult having to create boundaries and provide structure and discipline to him because while he has a 4 year old body, he still thinks and reacts (i.e., has tantrums) like a 2 year old.  In the two weeks we have been home, he has progressed almost 6 months developmentally.  Now when I ask him to do something he listens, he is learning to share (and that if people play with his toys he will get them back), and I can even redirect him to other activities if he is doing something that he shouldn’t be doing.  None of these things were a possibility 1 week ago, so he has made huge growth in an amazingly short amount of time.  He still has his moments when he regresses, but overall his improvement is off the chart.

Rahul is sweet and loving!  He loves to come running down the hallway and plant a big hug around my legs!  He loves to help clean up!    He wants to make sure that everything is in its proper place…he is a boy after my own heart. 🙂  He is also one of the most respectful kids I’ve ever met.  He says please and thank you…and he even blesses people when they sneeze. 

I know this is a brief update, and I have much more to say.  However, nap time is ending, and we’re off to pick up Dawson from school.  More updates to follow…soon, I promise!

Rahul’s Visa is in hand!!!! We are headed home tonight! Our God is good!

Today has had its disheartening moments with the whole Visa issue and all, but it has also been a day of great growth for Rahul in his attachment to us and his trust in us. He is starting to accept our touch more…even daddy’s…and he even cuddled with me on the bed tonight as we watched Tom & Jerry (yes, it seems some things transcend generations and cultures). I have really tried to be intentional in doing things to help Rahul attach to Kevin, and today, he actually walked with Kevin back to our room while I took a break and stayed outside to read a magazine and catch up on the Indian celeb scene.
He is a super smart kiddo and able to express himself well. He actually tells me when he is feeling sad. For a few days while we were in Pune, at random times, Rahul would use a Marathi word and then start to act upset. I had no idea what he was trying to tell me, but finally I found someone to translate for me. Now when he tells me he’s sad, we grab the camera and begin looking at his friends and caregivers at BSSK. After that he’s good to go. We know that we have a lot of work ahead of us in helping Rahul continue to attach to us, but I feel like today we turned a corner. We love you all and thank you for your prayers and words of encouragement.

We went to the Embassy today to get Rahul’s Visa, and we were told that there was a “computer glitch” in Rahul’s case and they hoped we would receive it by tomorrow. If we don’t receive the Visa by tomorrow we will not be able to fly out tomorrow. To be honest, knowing that we are leaving tomorrow is one of the few things keeping us going and still sane. We’ve got to get home! Please, please pray that his Visa gets processed by the end of the day!!!

We have arrived in Delhi, AND we now have all of our luggage! Rahul is attaching to me well…we’re still working on daddy, but at this point we’re just happy with him attaching to anyone. This morning when he woke up he was asking for me, which is HUGE. In the past, he has just shut down and started rocking back and forth. This morning we started coloring, and now, although he is rocking as we speak, we are singing nursery rhymes together.

We got to experience India last night a little. We took a 10 minute walk to a nearby food court and had an amazing Indian pizza. Our B&B is nice, which is always a pleasant surprise. You never know what to expect…sometimes the pictures online don’t match up to reality.

Thanks for your prayers! Much love and many blessings…

Today, great progress has been made in Rahul’s attachment to us. He has bonded a little more quickly to me, since he has never really been exposed to very many men at the orphanage. He now calls us Mommy & Daddy, and I have even been able to hug and kiss him a few times. Ironically, the thing that has helped this bonding the most is through his “school” time. He brought a notebook that he would use during his school time at the orphanage to practice writing his alphabet and numbers…which he does a surprisingly good job at saying and writing. He has allowed me to help him with his writing, and he loves to show off his work to us so we will cheer for him. It was during this time that he first allowed me to hug him. He also will not go anywhere outside of this room without one of us (usually me) holding his hand. This is good practically so he doesn’t run away from us, but it also helps to build trust. So, all that to say, progress is being made, but I’m afraid that we may be caught in a “50 First Dates” moment and have to start from scratch on the attachment building each day.
Other topics of interest…We were able to file our lost luggage claim officially today, so we have been assured that they will be found, and should arrive at our Delhi B&B. We shall see if this is true. We have found that the people here are so kind and wanting to please us that sometimes they just tell us things that we want to hear, which is sweet, but not always helpful. The longer I am here the more I am enjoying the people and the place of India. The people are beautiful, and despite the great poverty here the people, especially the women take great pride in the way they dress. I have seen women living in shacks elegantly dressed. It really is a sight to see. Kevin and I have gotten to experience life on the road here a few times, and as chaotic as it appears, Kevin and I really love it and I have found these to be times of great calm and peace…I know I’m crazy!
On a side note, Kevin has been my superhero during this trip. As if I wasn’t already crazy in love with him, this trip has made me love him even more and treasure his wisdom and leadership in our marriage!
I’m going back to bed. It’s 3:30am on Sunday here. We have a big day today. Rahul gets to ride in his first plane. I think he will be okay. So far, he has consistently shown us that when he gets scared or overwhelmed, he just kind of shuts down. This is preferred, at this time, to excessively screaming and hitting that other kids in this situation sometimes demonstrate.
We have been overwhelmed by your comments of support and prayer! We are thankful for each of you…

Sorry for the delayed update. I know many are eager to know how yesterday went, so here’s a brief synopsis. We arrived at the orphanage at 10am. When we first arrived, we were given a quick briefing and given all of Rahul’s official documents. After that we were escorted into one of the rooms were we got to meet Rahul for the first time.
Kevin and I are realists so we weren’t expecting a Disney moment during this first meeting. It’s a good thing we weren’t because Rahul didn’t want anything to do with us. You could tell he was excited we were there, but he is very shy at first, just like Abigail. During our time there he never would allow us to touch him or hold his hand, but we were able to play soccer with him and work some puzzles. There was no waiting to see if Rahul would warm up to us because as soon as the placement ceremony occurred they sent us on our way. Rahul was very sad and scared to leave, but, thankfully, there was another family there adopting an older child, so Rahul held his hand and we all drove away together. We dropped the other family off first, and I had to physically restrain Rahul so he wouldn’t leave with Mayur. He didn’t get upset, but he was so scared I could actually hear his heart beating.
It was then time to take him into our hotel. Nothing like two “whites” carrying a screaming child, who we didn’t have when we left, into a hotel. We tried to get to the ninth floor as quickly as possible.
Once we got to the room, we tried to calm him down by playing with him. He calmed down, and I had him smiling before long.
More uPdate to come. Rahul just woke up and we need to help him remember where he is at.
Many blessings and much love…

Just a quick update. We have arrived in Pune after MANY hours of traveling. We meet Rahul Friday at 9:30am India time. Please pray for this meeting! Also, please pray that our luggage gets discovered. We lost both of our checked bags somewhere during transit! Long story…I’ll try to update you later on when we have some down time. Keep on praying…we definitely feel them. God has done some amazing things just to help us to make all of our flights. We have a great peace even though it’s been crazy at times!

The past few days have been filled with a plethora of emotions. I have experienced the obvious emotions of joy and excitement as we are finally able to travel to bring our son home. But, there has also been the unexpected emotion of grief that, to be honest, has caught me off guard.
The other day, I was laying down with Abigail during nap time, and I began to weep because I realized that in a few days things would change forever. It was a grieving over the time lost with one child for the sake of investing in and loving another child. I experienced the same thing with Dawson the night before I went to the hospital and gave birth to Abigail. It is a grieving in the midst of excitement…knowing that something exceedingly greater than you can imagine awaits, but knowing that there are great sacrifices to be made along the way.
As Kevin and I left home this morning, we waved goodbye to the familiar…the familiar faces, hugs, sights, smells, etc., and with that farewell came the emotions of sadness and grief. However, we know that something…more importantly, someone…awaits us that will far exceed anything that we could ever dream of or imagine!

Kevin and I have arrived in Newark, NJ. Our flight to Frankfurt, Germany departs at 10pm.
We’ll keep you updated as often as we can, but we don’t know what Internet access will look like at our other connecting airports. Thanks for everyone’s prayers! Keep them coming…